Evangelism & Discipleship – Is it really both?

I love to fish.  For me, the best part is the jolt of the fish attacking the bait and reeling that sucker in to see how big it is…so I can be sure to add a few inches in my fish story.  Catching the fish is fun, but reeling in the fish is a huge part of it.  That’s how I feel about evangelism & discipleship.  Evangelism is the jolt of the fish attacking the bait (not saying the Gospel is the bait), but is exciting that someone accepted God’s free gift.  But if you don’t disciple that new believer…it’s like just leaving that fish out there on the line…you’re missing a huge part of the experience!

Read these verses:  Matthew 28:19-20

Okay, now read them again and circle the first 2 verbs in that passage – Go & Make Disciples.  I think we often emphasize the Go part (and with good reason, we need to go and share the Gospel with others), but we also often forget to mention, implement, or dig into the difficult work of discipleship.

You see, discipleship takes time, it takes a great deal of effort, it takes patience, it takes spiritual maturity…are you still with me?  Discipleship is hard!  You may not even see the results until much later in life…anyone involved in youth ministry knows how true this can be.

We live in a world of instant gratification.  Minute rice, instant video download, fast lane on the freeway…there’s even instant underpants (just add water!).  But discipleship is just the opposite.  There isn’t instant gratification.  Sure, there will be victories and joys of Jesus coming and changing one’s life.  But there will be many battles of the old self, old life, and old habits.  Those will drain you, disappoint you, and want to defeat you.

But, take heart.  The time you spend in discipleship is worth it…Jesus chose 12 disciples…and 11 of those men set out to change the world.  Who knows what may happen if you choose someone to mentor & disciple.  Watch this video, and see what kind of impact you can have…you too can change a generation!

Double Book Review: Visit the Sick & Impacting the Next Generation

Book:  Visit the Sick, by Brian Croft.

The Good.  I may surprise you with this statement, but I have never underlined more in a book than this little book.  I’m serious.  I learned so much about the ministry of visiting the sick.  Maybe it is because this does not come naturally to me.  Maybe you go to a hospital, and it is your element.  It doesn’t matter if it is a heart attack or a broken leg, you know what to do, what Scripture to read, and what to say in your prayer.  Or maybe you are more like me, and you could use some help in these areas.  Well, this book goes above and beyond the call of duty to help you visit the sick.

The Bad.  The only thing this book is missing is a CD where you can print off the appendix materials.  Or maybe a small printable bookmark/pamphlet you could put inside your Bible to help with visiting the sick.

The Grade:  A+.  That’s right, a perfect grade.  Maybe because it was just what the doctor ordered (get it?).  But mostly because it provides a perfect balance of practical and Biblical advice on how to visit the sick.  Every pastor should read this book.  As a youth pastor, I don’t have as many hospital visits as other pastors, but when I do, I want to have an impact on a hurting individual, I want to bring the gospel to room 221, I want to lift up someone’s broken spirit…well, I learned “I” can’t do those things.  But God can through me, and this book will help you accomplish those things.

 

Book:  Impacting the Next Generation, by Mel Walker.

The Good.  Where was this book 6 years ago when I started in youth ministry?  Seriously.  These are lessons I had to learn the hard way.  I found myself saying “Now you tell me” many times as I read.  Not your fault Mel!  But realy, this book provides practical ways to truly impacting young people in the short time you have them in your ministry.  Another good is each point is taken directly from Scripture.  I’m a big proponent of the line of thinking – if you are going to convince me to implement something in the ministry I serve, it better be supported in God’s Word.  And each point had that backing.  Well done.

The Bad.  I’m the kind of guy that enjoys personal stories.  There was some ministry stories within the book, but would have enjoyed more.  The 2 Timothy 2:22 principles were repeated several times, and could  have been consolidated in one section…but maybe that was the author’s point – that this verse is pretty important.

The Grade:  A.  Like Staples has an easy button, I needed an “Amen” button for this book.  This is how I do or want to do youth ministry.  I loved the points and was totally on board with the practical applications of Scripture.  In my opinion, this must be in the hands of every youth pastor, especially those beginning their first ministry.

**Special Note from the Author Mel Walker:  If any of your readers would like a copy of “Impacting the Next Generation” – they can get copies from me for only $5. Take a look at:
http://www.intergenerationalyouthministry.com
.

 

What Kids Think Happens in a Pastor’s Meeting

3 Ways to Treasure Your Kids

Recently, I read an article about a dad that spends $440 on his cable bill to make sure he spends quality time with his kids.  He had good intentions, but I’m pretty sure that poor guy missed the mark.  It was like a hunter with a clear shot of a deer and shot his own foot.  Good try.

Sadly, there are times when my intentions may be good to spend time with my kids, but I miss the mark.  My kids are all preschool age and under, and I constantly hear from parents of older kids, “They grow up so fast”.  I don’t want to let time just fly by, and not try my very best to build memories, impact my kids with my time, and allow my kids to feel like they are treasured by their dad.

This list is not exhaustive by any means, but here are 3 ways I want to do, to treasure my kids:

The B-I-B-L-E.   Each night, we gather in one of their rooms and we read the Bible together.  We are currently reading through The Jesus Storybook Bible.  This book is fantastic.  It points each story back to Jesus, something I always want to do with my kids, is point them to the Savior.  Sure, there are times when giggles overcome the story (like one time when I read the name Nebuchadnezzar, and my kids couldn’t stop laughing for a solid 10 minutes), and there will be times when you have to encourage them to pay attention, but it is all worth it.  I love getting them involved, asking questions, doing motions to the story…I have the opportunity to make their daily Bible reading fun, and I try to take full advantage.

Out of Cell Phone Range.  One of the biggest daggers that I have received thus far in my parenting career is when my oldest daughter said “I wish Daddy would put his cell phone down and watch what I am doing”.  I didn’t hear her, but my wife did and pointed it out to me.  Ouch!  That one stung for a while.  So, when I come home from work, or if I am playing with the kids, I try (notice I said try) to not have my cell phone in my pocket.  Dinner table, playing outside, vacation…these are times when the cell phone needs to be “out of range”.  This all may sound silly to some of you, but whatever may cause you distraction, remove it, and give your attention to your kids.  Whether it is a phone, the TV, computer, or work-related papers/items…push them to the side for your kids.

Daddy (Mommy) Dates.  My oldest calls just going to pick up something at the store a “Daddy date”.  And I love that.  I love spending one-on-one time with my kids, and I hope I can sustain this special time as they grow older.  I know it will get harder and will take a larger commitment, but it is something that shows each child they are treasured and valued.  This is opportunity for purposeful and important conversations to happen, and it also just time to get to know each other and show them love.  I’m looking forward to many dates in the years ahead…with me, not with boys.  Yeah, I’m fine with them being preschool age forever =)

These are just a few ways that I treasure my kids.  What do you do with your kids to treasure them?  I’d love to hear and learn from you!

Book Review: “Don’t Waste Your Life”

Book Review:  “Don’t Waste Your Life” by John Piper

The Good:

This is like a really good sandwich.  Hear me out.  There is so much in that sandwich to chew on and enjoy, you can easily take a bite and miss out on enjoying all the meat, or all the sauce, or all the veggies.

Here are some examples of some very powerful thoughts and questions that come out of this book:

• Loving and giving God glory is what is BEST for mankind
• Everything good in life can be traced back to the cross and the grace of God
• Do I love Jesus enough that I would be willing to die for His name?
• This life should be spent getting to know God better, because the next life, if you are a believer, will be spent forever with God.
• Be careful what you call “home”, and allow the earthly mindset to creep in that this is all there is play out in your daily activities, thoughts, actions, and purchases.
• “You don’t waste your life by where you work, but HOW & WHY”
• No matter how good or how bad the situation, Jesus and God can still be glorified.

And the list goes on…But each bite is so enjoyable.  There is so much to digest in this book, especially since it is speaking about YOUR LIFE.  Can you get a more important subject than that outside of Scripture and God?  Maybe you want to waste your life, I don’t!  Pick up this book, and make sure that does not happen.  The book does a fantastic job of causing you to evaluate your life, and bring you a checklist of attitudes, actions, thoughts, and future goals to implement in your life to make sure you do not waste it.

The Bad:

Make me crack a smile every once in a while.  I realize the subject of this book is very serious, but maybe it is just my personality, but I need some humor or more life experiences to make the book feel more personable and alive.

There were also times when the point was not beat to death, but maybe beat up pretty good where some aspirin and some bandages were needed.  Some of the chapters could have been more succinct.

The Grade:  B

I have to be honest, there were times when I really had to labor through some chapters…where points seemed to be over-written, and could have been more succinct.  Also, it was a bit over the top and dry at times.  That being said, what a concept!  You only have one life to live people, don’t waste it.  And this book does a marvelous job of emphasizing where and where not to take your life, so that it doesn’t end up a wasted life.

How to Build a Spiritual Home – Conclusion

If you learned anything from these blog posts on “How to Build a Spiritual Home”, it would be that it is hard work, and all of us have much to learn, do better, or correct.  You see a home is not built by one swing of the hammer, or one pull of the electric drill trigger…it takes time, it takes effort, and it takes the proper foundation.

Let’s conclude with one of the more familiar passages of parenting:  Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Some of you may that know me already know this, but one of my best friends is my GPS.  I am fairly directionally challenged.  That little lady, who I named Gabby Garmin, tells me turn-by-turn how to get there, and if I make a wrong turn she is there to tell when to “make a legal U-turn”.  Without that little device, it is unlikely I will get to my destination, or if I do, I will have to ask someone else for directions or risk being lost.

Listen, what this verse is saying is that you ARE the GPS for your child.  It is your duty, responsibility to tell your child how to get to where they should go.  And when they make a wrong turn, you have the opportunity to teach them how to make a “legal U-turn”.  And listen, this part is key, without you…they will most likely look to others for direction – which could include peers, the media, or just themselves…and you risk your child being lost.

So I encourage you, use every opportunity you can to teach and guide your child.  Never stop teaching, guiding, & listening.  And you do that by building a foundation of God’s Word & a consistency in serving in God’s house, godly modeling and discipline, and finally love & attention.

 

How to Build a Spiritual Home – Part 4

Exterior & Roof – 3 A’s of parenting – Attention, Affirmation, & Affection – Matthew 3:17

God’s Word does not have many verses that speak about loving your kids – much of the prescriptive truths about parenting are regarding discipline and spiritual guidance.  However, here is something to consider.  God, and his treatment of His children provide countless lessons of the love for His children.  From the patience of the people of Israel to the sacrificing of His Son…Love is seen over and over from the Heavenly Father.  So what better verse to use than Matthew 3:17, a loving Father’s words for His Son.

From the book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” by Dr. Meg Meeker:

“From the moment you set your eyes on her wet-from-womb body until she leaves your home, the clock starts ticking.  It’s the clock that times your hours with her, your opportunities to influence her, to shape her character, and to help her find herself.”

The need for appropriate loving tough dramatically INCREASES when kids get older.  My wife always was told by her dad to get all her kisses and hugs from him…and that’s what I’m going to tell my girls.  But I better make sure I give them those hugs and kisses!  So you know that song “Steal My Kisses From You”…I just see when parenting daughters, when I give my girls kisses, I’m just stealing kisses from teenage boys!

There’s a Spanish story of a father and son who had a disagreement. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father. On Saturday 800 Paco’s showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.

Don’t let your pride get in the way of your parenting.  Boys need love & attention too from you.  It

effects their self-esteem, treatment of others, and treatment of themselves.  Parents & Grandparents, Love on your kids  & grand-kids every chance you get.  Not just when they hit the winning home run or get 1^st chair clarinet or get a 30 on their ACT…give them a hug on a Saturday afternoon, or text them how much you love them when they get out of school, or tell them how proud of them you are before bedtime.

Can Instagram affect #selfimage #selfworth and #identity?

Here is a great article about what Instagram (and Facebook for that matter) provide a quantifiable scale of popularity and self-worth.  Is it time to panic?  No.  But these are some good points and reason for us to continue to emphasize identity in Christ and see ourselves like God sees us.  (Click the camera, get it?)

How To Build a Spiritual Home – Part 3

Plumbing – Loving Discipline – Proverbs 3:11-12

Why did I choose plumbing for discipline.  “It stinks.  But if you don’t do it, the whole house will smell.  The times when your children don’t get it, teach through discipline.  Discipline means literally “to teach” – some of us had more teaching moments in our childhood than others.  In the Hebrew, discipline was a 3 part process – correction, discipline, and instruction.  Do we discipline your children without correction?  Is there correction, with no discipline?  And do you instruct your kids HOW & why to change their behavior after discipline?

Pastor Craig Groeschel of lifechurch.tv does a great job at summing up undisciplined parenting vs. disciplined parenting:

Undisciplined Parents

1. Lifeguard Parents:  Often rescue a child from consequences.  Kids need you to be a parent 1^st!  According to a recent survey of Parents:  57% said they were more fearful of disobeying their parents than their kids are of them, and 42% admit they are less strict.  Asked Parents to list their best friends – 46% mentioned their kids.   “… A man reaps what he sows.”  Galatians 6:7b
2. ETCH-A-SKETCH Parents: often inconsistent.  What decisions are you leaving up to your kids?  Do you they choose their punishment?  Whether to attend church or maybe where to attend church?  I think we all can do better at leading.  I realize our goal is to transfer the dependence on you as a parent (in the early years) to depending on God & His Word…but our leadership of our children still needs to be a priority.  The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother…Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:15, 17
3. SPLIT-DECISION Parents: often un-unified.   Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3

Which one do you struggle with being?  Write it down, begin the change, & discuss it with your spouse.

Parental Expectations – The Disciplined Parent

1. We expect 1^st time and cheerful obedience.  (Not an easy combination)  Discipline for attitude and actions.  Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord – Col. 3:20.  Do everything without complaining or arguing – Philippians 2:14.
2. We agree to never discipline in anger.   In your anger do not sin – Ephesians 4:26
3. We will discipline promptly with instruction and reconciliation.  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

Which expectation do you struggle?  Circle one, begin the change, & discuss it with your spouse.

In the end, follow God’s pattern of discipline, found in Hebrews 12:5-6.  That is how God shows His love for us, in his discipline.  You show your love for you children through your discipline.  Prov. 13:24 says “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him”.  Those that withhold discipline from their children are not being loving.  In actuality, they are not showing love at all. Follow God’s example of disciplining His children.

Do the plumbing work in your house yourself…discipline your kids.

How to Build a Spiritual Home – Part 2

As discussed last week, there we be no home unless there was a foundation.  So, make sure you are building a firm foundation, rooted in God’s Word before you begin working on the next step.

Once you have your foundation, it’s time to begin framing your house.  And in building a spiritual home, the framing is your Godly example.

Step #2 – Framing – Godly Example 

Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.

James Dobson says “”Our very survival as a nation will depend on the presence or absence of masculine leadership in the home.”  Do you know the longest running TV comedy of all-time? “The Simpsons” – which portrays a dad that is lazy, unintelligent, overweight, self-centered, and an alcoholic.  The voice of the character says he has to “let his IQ go” when he performs the voice of the dad, Homer Simpson.  Yet, USA Today cited Homer Simpson as one of the “top 25 most influential people of the past 25 years!!  “D’oh!”

In America, we are experiencing an absence of our Fathers.  The average time father has meaningful dialogue with son each day – 38 seconds.  25% of teens claim they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father.  And 25 million kids grow up in US without a positive male role model in their life.  This has led to the sad statistic of children spending 40% less time with their family than a generation ago.

But this is not new thing.  In the Old Testament, we see the misguided parenting of Eli, and the parenting struggles of Noah, David, and others.  It’s time to set a new cultural trend and it begins in your home.  So, whatever category of parenting you fall into, here is what you need to do:

 Fathers – give your children a spiritual leader that they need.  Strive to be like God the Father.

Mothers – encourage your husband to be that man.  Support him, ask about his devotional life, encourage him to find a mentor, and to find an accountability partner.

Grandparents – Be a support to the fathers.  Mature believers help equip our Fathers.  Help find resources, buy them books or videos, be a Paul to the Timothy’s around you.

 

In case you missed it, here is How to Build a Spiritual Home, Part 1.