God’s Word does not have many verses that speak about loving your kids – much of the prescriptive truths about parenting are regarding discipline and spiritual guidance.  However, here is something to consider.  God, and his treatment of His children provide countless lessons of the love for His children.  From the patience of the people of Israel to the sacrificing of His Son…Love is seen over and over from the Heavenly Father.  So what better verse to use than Matthew 3:17, a loving Father’s words for His Son.

From the book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” by Dr. Meg Meeker:

“From the moment you set your eyes on her wet-from-womb body until she leaves your home, the clock starts ticking.  It’s the clock that times your hours with her, your opportunities to influence her, to shape her character, and to help her find herself.”

The need for appropriate loving tough dramatically INCREASES when kids get older.  My wife always was told by her dad to get all her kisses and hugs from him…and that’s what I’m going to tell my girls.  But I better make sure I give them those hugs and kisses!  So you know that song “Steal My Kisses From You”…I just see when parenting daughters, when I give my girls kisses, I’m just stealing kisses from teenage boys!

There’s a Spanish story of a father and son who had a disagreement. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father. On Saturday 800 Paco’s showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.

Don’t let your pride get in the way of your parenting.  Boys need love & attention too from you.  It

effects their self-esteem, treatment of others, and treatment of themselves.  Parents & Grandparents, Love on your kids  & grand-kids every chance you get.  Not just when they hit the winning home run or get 1^st chair clarinet or get a 30 on their ACT…give them a hug on a Saturday afternoon, or text them how much you love them when they get out of school, or tell them how proud of them you are before bedtime.

Plumbing – Loving Discipline – Proverbs 3:11-12

Why did I choose plumbing for discipline.  “It stinks.  But if you don’t do it, the whole house will smell.  The times when your children don’t get it, teach through discipline.  Discipline means literally “to teach” – some of us had more teaching moments in our childhood than others.  In the Hebrew, discipline was a 3 part process – correction, discipline, and instruction.  Do we discipline your children without correction?  Is there correction, with no discipline?  And do you instruct your kids HOW & why to change their behavior after discipline?

Pastor Craig Groeschel of lifechurch.tv does a great job at summing up undisciplined parenting vs. disciplined parenting:

Undisciplined Parents

1. Lifeguard Parents:  Often rescue a child from consequences.  Kids need you to be a parent 1^st!  According to a recent survey of Parents:  57% said they were more fearful of disobeying their parents than their kids are of them, and 42% admit they are less strict.  Asked Parents to list their best friends – 46% mentioned their kids.   “… A man reaps what he sows.”  Galatians 6:7b
2. ETCH-A-SKETCH Parents: often inconsistent.  What decisions are you leaving up to your kids?  Do you they choose their punishment?  Whether to attend church or maybe where to attend church?  I think we all can do better at leading.  I realize our goal is to transfer the dependence on you as a parent (in the early years) to depending on God & His Word…but our leadership of our children still needs to be a priority.  The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother…Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:15, 17
3. SPLIT-DECISION Parents: often un-unified.   Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3

Which one do you struggle with being?  Write it down, begin the change, & discuss it with your spouse.

Parental Expectations – The Disciplined Parent

1. We expect 1^st time and cheerful obedience.  (Not an easy combination)  Discipline for attitude and actions.  Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord – Col. 3:20.  Do everything without complaining or arguing – Philippians 2:14.
2. We agree to never discipline in anger.   In your anger do not sin – Ephesians 4:26
3. We will discipline promptly with instruction and reconciliation.  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

Which expectation do you struggle?  Circle one, begin the change, & discuss it with your spouse.

In the end, follow God’s pattern of discipline, found in Hebrews 12:5-6.  That is how God shows His love for us, in his discipline.  You show your love for you children through your discipline.  Prov. 13:24 says “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him”.  Those that withhold discipline from their children are not being loving.  In actuality, they are not showing love at all. Follow God’s example of disciplining His children.

Do the plumbing work in your house yourself…discipline your kids.

Once you have your foundation, it’s time to begin framing your house.  And in building a spiritual home, the framing is your Godly example.

Step #2 – Framing – Godly Example 

Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.

James Dobson says “”Our very survival as a nation will depend on the presence or absence of masculine leadership in the home.”  Do you know the longest running TV comedy of all-time? “The Simpsons” – which portrays a dad that is lazy, unintelligent, overweight, self-centered, and an alcoholic.  The voice of the character says he has to “let his IQ go” when he performs the voice of the dad, Homer Simpson.  Yet, USA Today cited Homer Simpson as one of the “top 25 most influential people of the past 25 years!!  “D’oh!”

In America, we are experiencing an absence of our Fathers.  The average time father has meaningful dialogue with son each day – 38 seconds.  25% of teens claim they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father.  And 25 million kids grow up in US without a positive male role model in their life.  This has led to the sad statistic of children spending 40% less time with their family than a generation ago.

But this is not new thing.  In the Old Testament, we see the misguided parenting of Eli, and the parenting struggles of Noah, David, and others.  It’s time to set a new cultural trend and it begins in your home.  So, whatever category of parenting you fall into, here is what you need to do:

 Fathers – give your children a spiritual leader that they need.  Strive to be like God the Father.

Mothers – encourage your husband to be that man.  Support him, ask about his devotional life, encourage him to find a mentor, and to find an accountability partner.

Grandparents – Be a support to the fathers.  Mature believers help equip our Fathers.  Help find resources, buy them books or videos, be a Paul to the Timothy’s around you.

In case you missed it, here is How to Build a Spiritual Home, Part 1.

So the next few weeks, I’d like to share the basics of building a home….not a house (because I can barely build a play house, and I wouldn’t know where to start).  But a home, well a good place to start is God’s Word, more specifically Psalm 127:1 – Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  This verse has less to do with the hammer and nails, and more to do with wisdom & parenting.  So in each of these steps, you will notice God’s Word supporting each idea and steps toward building a spiritual home.

Step #1 – Foundation – A Foundation of Faith

How is this Accomplished?

1st, Bring them to church – Hebrews 10:25

Kids Who Become Active Christ-followers as Adults (from Lifechurch.tv)

If mom and dad went to church:       72% of kids will as adults.

If mom only went to church:            15% of kids will as adults.

If dad only went to church:              55% of kids will as adults.

If neither mom nor dad:                   06% of kids will as adults.

Your church attendance makes a difference.  Teens are leaving the church at a rapid rate, and the biggest reason is not they are mad at church, but they just don’t see it as important.  The famed theologian Justin Bieber was recently quoted as saying “for me, I focus more on praying and talking to Him. I don’t have to go to church.” You as a parent need to show them it is…for spiritual growth, encouragement, place to serve, for community, and most of all to give glory & honor to our great God.

But it’s doesn’t stop there – the practical benefits are numerous.  Academically, Sociologists from BYU and Rice University found religiously affiliated youth are 40 percent more likely to graduate high school than their unaffiliated peers and 70 percent more likely to enroll in college.  Behaviorally, other studies have shown that religious involvement can also reduce drug & alcohol use and promiscuous behavior.

2nd, Don’t be afraid of the “G” word  - Joshua 24:15b “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

The Barna Group published an incredible statistic. It found that less than 10% of families who regularly attend church have spiritual conversations in the home.  WHY is that?

Is the TV too loud?  – The average American spends more than 34 hours a week watching live TV, plus another 3 to 6 hours watching taped programs.

Communication Breakdown – According to NPD Group Research – Devices now outnumber people in America 425 million to 315.  Somebody call Orson Welles!  Is your cell phone a distraction?  Do you have a “no cell phone rule” at the dinner table?  The “distracted parent” has received wide-notoriety, as an article in the Wall Street Journal stated “Injuries due to playground equipment in kids under five are up 17 percent; swimming-pool injuries have climbed 36 percent in the same age group…a tweeting mom’s two-year-old drowned while she was posting pictures of a tortoise that was in their backyard.”

Not a Priority – God and His Word need to the foundation.  Not education, not comfortable living, not even an iPad…it has to be God, and He needs to be brought up in conversation.  40 hours of TV…at least mute the commercials!  Barna says:  Parents that regularly discuss spiritual matters, actively serve in the church, and pray together with their kids are almost twice as likely their child will remain faithful!  Deuteronomy 6:7 explains God should be discussed all the time.  Use teaching moments whenever they present themselves.  May have to sacrifice sleep with this b/c teens open up the most at 11pm…but do what you can to use these teaching opportunities ALL DAY LONG.

3rd, Address Doubts & Encourage Independent Faith

Most spiritual doubts occur in jr. high and high school – help them through it.  Don’t dismiss their doubts, but help them to make their faith their own.  Don’t force it on them.  Work through it with them.

If we break down Colossians 1:23 phrase by phrase, it gives us a 3-dimensional faith that we all need to have, especially our kids.

Persistent faith – “continue in the faith”

Perceptive faith – “which you have heard and which was preached”

Personal faith – “and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister”

God saw it yet again…when he called a young boy into ministry from a deep sleep

God also saw it…when a group of teenagers were asked to stand up against pagan idolatry while facing a fiery consequence.

God saw it once more…when He sent an angel to tell a teenage virgin she would carry and deliver the Savior that would take away the sins of the world.

Jesus saw it…when he chose a bunch of teenagers to be world-changers and his successors of the Gospel message.

What did they see?  The saw The Potential of Young People.

Listen, if you don’t see it, and you are a parent of young children or teenagers, or you work in children or student ministry…then you need to start seeing it.  All throughout Biblical history, young people were used in powerful, dynamic, and world-changing ways.  From Josiah to the virgin Mary, we see God using a variety of characters to be used to carry out incredible tasks.

So why should your children or teenagers be any different?  About 10 days ago, the student leaders of our student ministry were in charge of hosting an Easter Egg Hunt for the community.  They did everything from publicity & recruiting volunteers to organizing set-up and production of the event.  There were 300 people who came to the event, and it was all on the shoulders of teenagers.  These teenagers had an impact on their community because they were given the chance.

Currently, I’m reading a book called Do Hard Things, written by teenagers that started a rebelution against low expectations of teenagers.  They took that idea to the bank, and were able to intern in the Supreme Court at age sixteen.  Their idea of being a teenager was not to wait until after college to make a difference, they believed they could do something right now.

And you know what, I’m tired of low expectations too.  Seeing teenagers plan an event for an entire community successful, allowing students to plan one youth group night a month from start to finish, pushing more young people to serve in church ministries…these things have changed my expectations of teenagers.  It’s time we take them to new heights, push them further, and start seeing the Josiah’s, Mary’s, and Samuel’s of our group become world changers even before they reach adulthood.

Start opening your eyes.  Start seeing the potential of young people.  God saw it, and so should you.

It was Easter afternoon when one of the most publicized injury in sports history occurred.  It was gruesome.  When the replay was shown, our whole house groaned, and couldn’t look away soon enough.

It was rare when I had to shade my kids eyes from a basketball game.  Players were nauseous, crying, lying on the floor.  Coaches could barely look…and if you look closely, a player on the bench passes out!

But where was God?  He was listening to the prayer of Luke Hancock, who would later single-handedly bring his team back in the championship game.  God was there to comfort Kevin…and this is the story that many are missing…the courage that he gained from a simple prayer.

Read the rest of the story here.

So why can’t the church do this?  I’m not talking about filling a stadium…I’m talking about helping others that are down, hurt, suffering…and give them a special experience.  That experience is better than running into the endzone…it is the freedom in the gospel.  Just like this video, it too will give you goosebumps when you see God save someone.

How to Plan

1. Choose a mission statement – Gospel-centered statement to keep vision/purpose in mind.
2. Create goals – number of people, number of kids, number of eggs
3. Separate Planning Team into Two Groups:  Promotion/Publicity, Production & Personnel
4. Promotion & Publicity – Get the word out – mailings, church announcements, flyers/postcards, radio announcements, website, Facebook event post, church sign;  Donations – Eggs, Candy, Small Prizes;  Sign up list for volunteers – next to display in Lobby
5. Production & Personnel

• Make a timeline of tasks that need to be accomplished
• Reserve items early – Location (if needed), Bounce House, Time slot in church calendar
• Recruit volunteers – Registration, Game & Egg Hunt Helpers, Security (if needed), Storyteller, Drinks/Food Coordinator
• Gather Materials – Games materials, Fill Eggs (Sunny Bunny Eggs is a great resource), Tables, chairs, etc.
• Schedule out the Easter Hunt – From Setup to Tear Down
• Develop a map – where you want everything, from registration to the actual hunt

How to Host

1. Meeting – Meet at location early with volunteers for set up (Suggestion:  if possible, do a “mock” setup in the gym prior to the day of Egg Hunt).
2. Stations, People!  Set up games, bounce house, registration, story telling station, & Egg Hunt area
3. It’s Show Time.  Meet half hour to hour before – designate volunteers to stations (People started showing up a half hour before ours started, so be aware of this possibility, BE EARLY!)
4. Registration
5. Schedule Sample:  Registration/Games/Games shut down/Story Time (Resurrection Eggs)/Egg Hunt/More Games/Final Egg Hunt (With Remaining Eggs)

Meet guests at front location
Give out bags – church information, brochures, tract, Easter service invitation
Bag for Easter Egg Hunt
Mega-Phone or Sound System Set up

How to Follow Up

1. Gospel – The best thing about our Egg Hunt this year was the Gospel was shared.  It was right before the Egg Hunt, so everyone was willing to hear about Jesus, then we did the Egg Hunt right after.
2. At Registration – people signed up their child with a phone number.  Possible a registration card would have been more efficient/organized.
3. Children’s Ministry Team – Follow up with phone calls, visits, and emails.
4. Pray you see them the next day!