Tag Archives: Parental Discipline

Book Review: How to Keep Your Kids on Your Team

Book Review:  How to Keep Your Kids on Your Team by Charles Stanley

The Good:

Been there, done that.  Charles Stanley had both the view of the counselor and the parent when he brought personal illustrations to play.  The counseling situations were enlightening and eye-opening, and the family illustrations brought a personal touch.  Each produced a break for the mind and allowed for smooth reading.

Homework?  With each chapter, I walked away with homework.  There were parenting skills that needed sharpened, conversations that needed to take place, and changes that needed to happen.  I have a long ways to go, but there were measurable steps I could take in improving my parenting.

This Quote – “The only hope they have is to undergo a transforming experience by Christ in their life and thus gain an understanding of who they really are in Jesus Christ.”

Handing Down Your Faith.  The chapter on this very subject was priceless.  My favorite part of the book and made the whole read worthwhile.  Such an important concept and I’m indebted to the author for the wisdom that was shared.

The Bad:

Not too sure.  There were a couple specific parenting situations that I disagreed with the take of the author.  Nothing sinful or even anything wrong, but a stance I probably wouldn’t take.  I am still learning on the job, so maybe my view may change as my kids get older.  Seems most of my disagreements had to do with discipline that was at times on the weak side.

Not One Mention of SnapChat.  It’s no fault of the author, but the book is outdated in the area of technology.  Writing in the mid-80’s, there is no mention of the constant battle of cell phones, gaming, and technology that this generation of parents face.  (Disclaimer:  Looks like an updated version was written in 1996, but would still lag behind in some technological issues.)

The Grade:  A.  Any parenting book that teaches you practical ways of improving your relationship with your children and your role as a parent gets an A from me.  This book provides valuable insight in parenting, while providing personal ways of improving the day-to-day grind of parenting a child.  Written over 30 years ago, it just goes to show, Biblical parenting does not go out of style.

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How To Build a Spiritual Home – Part 3

Plumbing – Loving Discipline – Proverbs 3:11-12Image

Why did I choose plumbing for discipline.  “It stinks.  But if you don’t do it, the whole house will smell.  The times when your children don’t get it, teach through discipline.  Discipline means literally “to teach”some of us had more teaching moments in our childhood than others.  In the Hebrew, discipline was a 3 part process – correction, discipline, and instruction.  Do we discipline your children without correction?  Is there correction, with no discipline?  And do you instruct your kids HOW & why to change their behavior after discipline?

Pastor Craig Groeschel of lifechurch.tv does a great job at summing up undisciplined parenting vs. disciplined parenting:

Undisciplined Parents

  1. Lifeguard Parents:  Often rescue a child from consequences.  Kids need you to be a parent 1st!  According to a recent survey of Parents:  57% said they were more fearful of disobeying their parents than their kids are of them, and 42% admit they are less strict.  Asked Parents to list their best friends – 46% mentioned their kids.   “… A man reaps what he sows.”  Galatians 6:7b
  2. ETCH-A-SKETCH Parents: often inconsistent.  What decisions are you leaving up to your kids?  Do you they choose their punishment?  Whether to attend church or maybe where to attend church?  I think we all can do better at leading.  I realize our goal is to transfer the dependence on you as a parent (in the early years) to depending on God & His Word…but our leadership of our children still needs to be a priority.  The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother…Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:15, 17
  3. SPLIT-DECISION Parents: often un-unified.   Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3

Which one do you struggle with being?  Write it down, begin the change, & discuss it with your spouse.

Parental Expectations – The Disciplined Parent

  1. We expect 1st time and cheerful obedience.  (Not an easy combination)  Discipline for attitude and actions.  Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord – Col. 3:20.  Do everything without complaining or arguing – Philippians 2:14.
  2. We agree to never discipline in anger.   In your anger do not sin – Ephesians 4:26
  3. We will discipline promptly with instruction and reconciliation.  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

Which expectation do you struggle?  Circle one, begin the change, & discuss it with your spouse.

In the end, follow God’s pattern of discipline, found in Hebrews 12:5-6.  That is how God shows His love for us, in his discipline.  You show your love for you children through your discipline.  Prov. 13:24 says He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him”Those that withhold discipline from their children are not being loving.  In actuality, they are not showing love at all. Follow God’s example of disciplining His children.

Do the plumbing work in your house yourself…discipline your kids.

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As For Me and My Crazy House – BOOK REVIEW

The Good:

The overarching quality of this book is the realness.  The author’s transparency of his family life is both refreshing and re-assuring, that pastor’s families don’t have it all together, and it is as times crazy.  But, the book does a great job at providing insight of developing balance with family and ministry.

You know it is a good book when there are statements or ideas that will be lifelong “sticks”.  What I mean by “sticks” is these are things that I hope to do within my lifetime, or within the time my children are still in my home.  Examples would be the “moving of the fulcrum” on page 94, or turning off the cell phone and turning attention to the kids, finding a mentor, dating your wife, one-on-one time with your kids, the long distance race of parenting…just to name a few.  You may read this list and think those are all no brainers…yeah, but don’t you want practical ways to accomplish all those things.  This book will provide that for you, with humor and realness!

The Bad:

The transparency went a little far sometimes, for example, the mention of the “mom thongs”.  Didn’t really need that mental picture.  Overall, I thought the final parent chapter was good, but some could interpret it as “light discipline” parenting.  I’m guessing that was not the intent, but need to be careful in how you read it.  Don’t let it excuse you from disciplining your kids.  Other than that, it’s hard to find more faults.

Conclusion:

If reading was a race, I would be the tortoise.  So I enjoy books that are easy reads, fun to read, and fully practical to my everyday life.  I took my time with this book, reading just a few minutes each night and was almost disappointed when it was all dine.  Overall, this was a life-changing, fully practical, ministry & family building…book.  I hated it.  Just kidding.  Of course, I am recommending you give it a try!

Grade:  A-

 

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