Tag Archives: Wedding

How will your marriage be OR How is your marriage now?

Book Review:  Ready to Wed by Dr. Greg & Erin Smalley

The Good:

Marriage Counseling 101.  In the next year, I’m planning to add and revise some of my pre-marital material.  And guess what book will have a big part of that revision.  Yep, this one right here…excellent pre-marital counseling advice, material, and exercises.

I Got Homework.  Although this book is written for those preparing for marriage, I found myself completing many of the homework assignments on my own and with my wife.  So marriage veterans, don’t think for a minute this book will not benefit your marriage.

Who Wrote This Chapter?  Within the “12 Ways to Start a Marriage You’ll Love”, there is a new author for each chapter.  Why is this a good thing?  Well, it allows the book to have varied personalities and styles to make the book more enjoyable.

The Bad:

Didn’t I Hear This Before?  Although the different authors can be a good thing, the downside is there is opportunity for repetition and slight contradictions.  Some of the opinions of the authors may differ somewhat and can hurt the continuity of the book a little.  None of the contradictions are drastic, but there are small ones here and there.

Shameless Plugs.  One author seems to use their chapter as a platform to promote their book over and over.  It would be like if I mentioned my book “Bottom Line”, which is a devotional for teens & young adults, on this blog.  Or if I would put the reader to www.bottomlinedevotional.com for book information and purchase options in a book review blog.  But I would never do that.

Weak Sauce.  The majority of the book was Biblically sound.  However, there was at least one author who seemed to not like the word “sin”.  It’s OK to call it that!  Instead of calling the problem “pride”, words were used like “buttons pushed”.  Come on, don’t come at me with that weak sauce!

The Grade:  B+.  I really enjoyed this book for its variety, meaty advice & counsel material, along with solid Biblical principles.  Occasionally there would be some repetition or weak fluff marital direction, but that was rare.  It was a great read and encouragement for those preparing for marriage, and those that tied the knot years ago.

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Book Review: The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler #MinglingOfSouls

Book Review: The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler

The Good:

Attention all teenagers/young adults/parents of teens & young adults/etc etc. Tell all teenagers and young adults to read the 1st three chapters of this book right now! No seriously, get them out of school/wake them up/take them from work and leave them in a park somewhere and tell them to read the 1st three chapters of this book and discuss it with you. In these three chapters are priceless advice for anyone that is pre-marriage.

Bible-based. The problem with many marriage books is the source of the advice. Sure, psychologists and marriage counselors have wisdom to share, but they pale in comparison to the Word of God. This book guides the reader through the Song of Solomon and draws advice from the wisest man to ever live who, by the way, was inspired by the Holy Spirit. Check please.331639

A Must for Marriage Counselors & Pastors. This book is perfect for any number of scenarios. Whether you want to improve in marriage counseling, or you are a pastor formulating your wedding ceremony template, or you just want to help improve your marriage or a friend’s…this book is for you.

A Challenge From The Start. Let’s be honest, some books tend to trail off like a cell phone in the mountains. Not this book. A blow-by-blow heavyweight fight from start to finish, with challenges for those not married, newly married, and long-married (long-married…is that a word?).

Conflict Resolution. Chandler does not dance around this subject, because in marriage there will be conflict. This chapter is pure gold. Rather than just provide advice for husbands, this book provides great balance between the sexes in dealing with conflict. In fact, the entire book is very well-balanced for both spouses in not just conflict, but all areas of marriage.

The Bad:

A Warning. Chapter five is not for young readers. This chapter is designed for engaged/married couples, but still has value in understanding the true purpose of sexual intimacy designed by God. In this chapter, younger readers will still find valuable warnings of how the world has distorted sex.

Too Much Gospel? This is hard to say. We need to preach the Gospel to ourselves in everything we do, including marriage. But, I felt at times, the Gospel was used almost too often and brought some confusion. Almost like, sprinkle a little Gospel on it and it will taste better. At times, could have used more explanation. I understand the intent and I hesitated to even mention it, but felt I needed to be honest.

The Grade: A+

This book is real, honest, but never lets up on the pursuit of a marriage how God intended it to be. It takes the reader on an enjoyable ride through the twists and turns of marriage, but slow enough to provide valuable insight and advice from the Word of God that is attainable, useful, and life-changing. Chandler uses transparency and real-life examples to illustrate lessons learned the hard way. This book should be the next read for anyone reaching for the ultimate joy in marriage. (Hint: It’s not you or your spouse).

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Why My Daughter’s Baptism is Better Than Her Wedding Day

This past Sunday, I had the privilege of baptizing my baby girl. Well, she is seven (and a half, as she would say), so not so much a baby anymore. But being my first daughter, I often call her my baby girl. Baptizing my sweet little girl is an incredible perk of being a youth pastor, along with leftover pizza from youth nights. But just how special was this event in my daughter’s life?31edited

Could I dare say that this day was even more special than my daughter’s wedding day? I believe so. And here’s why. When my daughter was baptized, she was telling everyone she wanted to follow Jesus, and be identified as a follower of Christ. If/When she gets married, while it will be a tremendously joyous occasion, she is telling everyone in that room she will be following her husband in her marriage. See the difference?

Let me break it down a little further here. My ultimate goal as a parent is not to prepare my daughter to marry a nice, godly man. Sure, I pray for that regularly, but my ultimate goal is to prepare my daughter for a life lived for her Savior, Jesus Christ. And seeing my daughter in that white robe committing herself to Jesus overshadows seeing my daughter in a white dress committing herself to a man.

And maybe I should say it like this. I want my kids to be more excited about Jesus than they are about anything. And I should reflect that to my children. So accepting Jesus Christ should be celebrated more than high school graduation. Being baptized and committing to follow Christ should be more precious than winning the high school championship in __________, you will in the blank. You get what I am saying here?

Maybe it is time we take our kids out to dinner to celebrate their spiritual birthdays. Or make sure to invite as many family members as you can to come to their baptism. Mission trips, Christian camps, and enriching conferences should have a place in our budget over cell phones, new shoes for school, and violin lessons. Our desire to get our kids ready to go to church, should resemble the fervor with which we scramble and drive like crazy people to get to work on time.

Sure, the title of this blog was a little bit of shock value. But maybe we need a little shock to the heart to bring our priorities back in order. After all, it was Jesus that said in Luke 9:23-25:

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?”

Reminds me of something I said Sunday…“Buried in the likeness of his death, raised in the likeness of his resurrection.” edit hug

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Wedding Rehearsal Tips

  1. Let’s get this party started. Gather entire wedding party together at front. If outdoors, possibly meet in the tent or in small room for instructions.
  1. My name is…Introduce yourself. Explain you are the pastor of the wedding. Give the impression you are happy to be there.
  1. Meet & Greet. Before you pray, start off by having Bride introduce her family and bridesmaids.  Next, have the Groom introduce his family & groomsmen.
  1. Prayer. God should be at the center of the marriage and wedding ceremony, and the wedding rehearsal should be no different.
  1. Twice is Nice. This is how this will work. 1st run through will be a “rough draft”. Get all the kinks out, and it typically ends up being gigglefest 1995. Then run it through a 2nd time as the “REAL DEAL”. Exactly like you would have it on the wedding day.
  1. Introduce the Enforcer. Introduce the Wedding Coordinator. The wedding coordinator will get everyone in their places and get started. Also be sure to explain if you have ANY questions/concerns on wedding day, see the wedding coordinator, not the bride or groom.
  1. Leave some Space. Make sure to leave a place in your notebook to jot down some notes for tomorrow’s wedding.rehearsal

 

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